Abuse in the Jewish Community

An agunah (“chained woman”) was traditionally a woman whose husband had disappeared in wartime or at sea, for example. Such a woman could not remarry under Jewish law because her husband could not be proven to be dead. In the event that her husband is still alive, they would still be considered married if he didn’t give her a get before disappearing. In current times, as a solution to this problem, in the State of Israel, many men write their wives a conditional get before leaving for military service. This document assures that if the husband is lost in battle, his wife will be free to remarry and go on with her life.

Today, however, many agunot (plural of agunah) find themselves “chained” by husbands who refuse to give them a get. This refusal to give a get is a common form of spousal abuse, a way to keep power and control over a woman and prevent her from moving on with her life. Often a man abuses his power by refusing to give a get unless his wife agrees to give him custody of their children, money, or something else that he wants.

Being an agunah can create real hardship and sorrow for a woman, her children, and for her friends and family. As an agunah, she is unable to remarry and have full control over her own life decisions. For Orthodox women especially, whose identity is often tied to being a wife and mother, the inability to remarry and perhaps have children can make her feel as if she has lost her identity.