This section defines domestic violence for the purposes of getting a relief from abuse order. Domestic violence is when a family or household member does one of the following to you:

1. presents a continuous threat of present physical pain or physical injury;
2. stalking; or
3. a pattern of threatening, which includes, but is not limited to, when the abuser:
   • uses a physical threat to intentionally place or attempt to place you in fear of immediate serious physical injury; or
   • threatens to commit any crime of violence with the intention of terrorizing you or with disregard to the fact that the threat can cause you to be terrorized; or
4. coercive control, which is a pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a your free will and personal liberty. “Coercive control” includes, but is not limited to:
   • isolating you from friends, relatives, or other sources of support;
   • depriving you of basic needs;
   • controlling or monitoring your movements, communications, daily behavior, finances, economic resources, or access to services;
   • making you do something that you don’t want to do or not allowing you to do something you do want to do by using force, intimidation, or threats against you, including threats based on your actual or suspected immigration status;
   • committing or threatening to commit cruelty to animals to intimidate you; or
   • forcing you to do sexual acts, or making threats of a sexual nature, including, threats to commit sexual acts, threats based on your sexuality, or threats to release sexual images of you to other people or on the internet, for example.¹

¹ C.G.S. §§ 46b-15(a); 46b-1(b); 53a-62(a)

A temporary or permanent restraining order may:

• order the abuser to not threaten, harass, assault, molest, sexually assault or attack you;
• prohibit the abuser from imposing any restraint upon you or your liberty (freedom);
• prohibit the abuser from entering your home or the shared family home;
• grant you temporary child custody or visitation rights;
• order the abuser to not injure or threaten to injure your animals;¹
• order the abuser not to contact you in any way, including through your home, workplace, etc.;
• order the abuser to stay 100 yards away from you;²
• grant you temporary possession of an automobile, checkbook, documentation of health, automobile or homeowners insurance, any documents needed for purposes of proving identity, a key or other necessary specified personal belongings;
• if you and the abuser are spouses, or if you have a minor/dependent child in common and you live together, the judge may order the following additional things if they are necessary to maintain the safety and basic needs of you or your child(ren). The judge can prohibit the abuser from:
  • taking any action that could result in the termination of any necessary utility services or necessary services related to your home or the family home;
  • taking any action that could result in the cancellation, change of coverage or change of beneficiary of any health, automobile or homeowners insurance policy that would harm you or the child that you have with the abuser;
  • getting rid of, transferring, hiding, etc., any specified property owned or leased by you;³ and/or
• anything else that is needed to protect you, your children and/or anyone else the judge believes is appropriate.¹

In addition, as part of a permanent restraining order, the judge can order the following additional protections. The judge can order that the abuser:

• make rent or mortgage payments on the family home or the home where you live with your and the abuser’s minor/dependent child(ren);
• maintain (keep) utility services or other necessary services related to the family home or the home where you live with your and the abuser’s minor/dependent child(ren);
• maintain (keep) all existing health, automobile or homeowners insurance coverage without any change in coverage or change in the beneficiary; and/or
• provide financial support for any dependent child(ren) that you have with the abuser (provided that the respondent has a legal duty to support such child or children and the ability to pay), which will last up to 120 days or until another order for financial support is decided by a court, whichever happens first. Note: The judge cannot enter any order of financial support without sufficient evidence as to the abuser’s ability to pay, which must be presented at the hearing. (If the judge does not make an order for financial support at the hearing, it cannot be done as part of the restraining order later on).⁴

¹ C.G.S. § 46b-15(b)
² See Application for Relief from Abuse
³ C.G.S. § 46b-15(d)
⁴ C.G.S. § 46b-15(e)

When you and the abuser live in different states, the judge may not have “personal jurisdiction” (power) over an out-of-state abuser. This means that the court may not be able to grant an order against him/her.

There are a few ways that a court can have personal jurisdiction over an out-of-state abuser:

1. The abuser has a substantial connection to your state. Perhaps the abuser regularly travels to your state to visit you, for business, to see extended family, or the abuser lived in your state and recently fled.
2. One of the acts of abuse “happened” in your state. Perhaps the abuser sends you threatening texts or harassing phone calls from another state but you read the messages or answer the calls while you are in your state. The judge could decide that the abuse “happened” to you while you were in your state. It may also be possible that the abuser was in your state when s/he abused you s/he but has since left the state.
3. If you file your petition and the abuser gets served with the court petition while s/he is in your state, this is another way for the court to get jurisdiction.

However, even if none of the above apply to your situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t get an order. If you file, you may be granted an order on consent or the judge may find other circumstances that allow the order to be granted.

You can read more about personal jurisdiction in our Court System Basics - Personal Jurisdiction section.

Note: If the judge in your state refuses to issue an order, you can file for an order in the courthouse in the state where the abuser lives. However, remember that you will likely need to file the petition in person and attend various court dates, which could be difficult if the abuser’s state is far away.

You can file for a restraining order if you have been subjected to domestic violence, as defined by law, by any of the following people, known as “family or household members”¹ regardless of the age of you and the abuser:

• your spouse or former spouse (including a civil-union spouse);
• someone you have a child in common with;
• your parent;
• your child;
• someone you are dating or have recently dated;
• someone you are related to you by blood or marriage;
• someone who you currently live with or used to live with;² and
• if you are age 60 years or older, a live-in caretaker.³

¹ C.G.S. § 46b-15(a)
² C.G.S. § 46b-38a(2)
³ See Application for Relief from Abuse

Nothing. There is no cost to file for a restraining order.

You do not need a lawyer to file for a restraining order.  However, you may wish to have a lawyer, especially if the abuser has a lawyer. If you can, contact a lawyer to make sure that your legal rights are protected.  If you cannot afford a lawyer but want one to help you with your case, you can find information on legal assistance on the CT Finding a Lawyer page. 

If you are going to be in court without a lawyer, our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section may be useful to you.

You can find the forms from the civil clerk at the superior court, but you may want to find them before you go and fill them out at home or with an advocate from a domestic violence organization or with a lawyer. You will find links to forms online on the CT Download Court Forms page. To find contact information for the Superior Court in your area, click on CT Courthouse Locations.

To start your case, you will need to fill out the necessary forms for a restraining order (relief from abuse order), which include an application and an affidavit (sworn statement).  On the affidavit, you will be asked to write about what happened, when, where and who was present.  Remember to use specific language (slapping, hitting, grabbing, threatening, etc.) that fits your situation.  Include details and dates, if possible.  Note: Do not sign the forms until you have shown it to a clerk, as the court clerk may have to notarize them – and remember that you may need photo ID for the notary.

Most shelters and other domestic violence prevention organizations can provide support for you while you fill out these papers and go to court. To find a shelter or advocate in your area, go to  our CT Advocates and Shelters page.

To make sure that the abuser knows about the temporary (ex parte) restraining order, if the court issued one, and about the hearing date, you will need to bring all of the papers that need to be served to a state marshal or any “proper officer” for delivery to the abuser. (The clerk or someone at a Court Service Center can explain to you who a “proper officer” is or you can get a list of the proper officers who can serve your papers from the clerk of the court or online from the State of Connecticut Judicial Branch website.) You can choose a state marshal from the towns in which the abuser lives or works and call the state marshal to make the arrangements to serve the papers. At some courthouses, a state marshal is at the courthouse at certain times during the day to help with service.¹ If you want to call your local courthouse to find out which hours the state marshal will be there, see our CT Courthouse Locations page for a list of courthouse contact information.

The abuser must be served with the papers at least 3 days before the hearing date. If you include in your application that the respondent has a permit or eligibility certificate to carry a pistol or revolver, a long gun, ammunition, or that s/he possesses a firearm or ammunition, the proper officer who is responsible for serving the respondent should do all of the following:

• provide notice to law enforcement in the abuser’s town to let them know when and where service will take place;
• send law enforcement in the abuser’s town a copy of your application, affidavit, ex parte order, and the notice of hearing;
• request that a police officer from the law enforcement agency in the abuser’s town be present when the abuser is served.²

Remember that it may take multiple attempts to have him/her served. If you do not know where the abuser lives or cannot give enough information about how to find the abuser, the state marshal may not be able to find him/her to deliver the papers, so it is important to bring any and all identifying information that you have about the abuser to the state marshal.¹

After the state marshal serves the abuser, s/he should give you back the original papers with a “return of service,” which tells the court when the officer served the papers on the abuser. According to the Connecticut Judicial Branch brochure, it is “recommended” that you bring these papers back to the clerk of the court at least two business days before the date of the hearing.¹

Note: If you (or your minor child who is protected by the order) are enrolled in a public or private elementary or secondary school, technical school, or college, you can ask the clerk to send a copy of the order to your (or your child’s) school and to any special police force at the school. You will need to give the clerk the name and address of the school or college.²

You can find more information about service of process in our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section, in the question called What is service of process and how do I accomplish it?

¹ See State of Connecticut Judicial Branch website’s brochure
² C.G.S. § 46b-15(h)

Here are some things that you may want to consider when leaving the courthouse. You will have to evaluate each one and decide if it is safe and appropriate for you to do it.

• Review the order before you leave the courthouse. If you see any errors, you can ask the clerk how to correct them.
• Make several copies of the restraining order as soon as possible.
• Keep a copy of the restraining order with you at all times. Leave copies at your workplace, at your home, at the children’s school or daycare, in your car, with a sympathetic neighbor, and so on.
• Give a copy to the security guard or person at the front desk where you live and/or work along with a photo of the abuser.
• Give a copy of the order to anyone who is named in and protected by the order.
• You may wish to consider changing your locks and your phone number.

You may also wish to make a safety plan. People can do a number of things to increase their safety during violent incidents, when preparing to leave an abusive relationship, and when they are at home, work, and school. Many batterers obey protective orders, but some do not and it is important to build on the things you have already been doing to keep yourself safe. Go to our Safety Planning page for suggestions.

Violating a restraining order can be against the law and there are two ways to report the violation.

Through the Police or Sheriff
If the defendant violates the restraining order, you can call 911 or otherwise report it to law enforcement. In some cases, the defendant can be arrested right away. Tell the officer you have a restraining order and the defendant is violating it. If the defendant is arrested, the case will go to the district attorney for possible prosecution. The respondent can be charged with a criminal violation of a restraining order, which can be a class D or class C felony, depending on the circumstances. Depending on the crime that the abuser is convicted of, the respondent can face imprisonment of up to five years or up to ten years, a fine of up to five thousand dollars or up to ten thousand dollars, or both a fine and imprisonment.¹

Through the Civil Court System
You may also file a motion for civil contempt for a violation of the order. Then, there will be a hearing held within five court days of when the motion is served on the abuser (as long as the service is made not less than 24 hours before the hearing). The abuser can be “held in civil contempt” if s/he does anything that your restraining order tells him/her not to do and the judge can order whatever punishment that the judge believes is appropriate.² To file for civil contempt, go to the clerk’s office and ask for the forms to file for civil contempt.

For more information about contempt, including the difference between criminal contempt and civil contempt, go to our general Domestic Violence Restraining Orders page.

¹ See C.G.S. §§ 46b-15(f); 53a-223; 53a-35a(7), (8)
² C.G.S. § 46b-15(j)

To change (modify) your order, you would file a modification petition with the clerk and a hearing would be held.

To extend an order, you would file a motion to extend the order with the clerk and a hearing would be held. The order can be renewed for such additional time as the judge believes is necessary.¹ The Connecticut Judicial Branch website suggests filing the motion to extend two to three weeks before your order is set to expire.²

¹ C.G.S. § 46b-15(g)
² Connecticut Judicial Branch website’s brochure

According to federal law, which applies to all states, territories, and tribal lands, the courts are not supposed to make available publicly on the internet any information that would be likely to reveal your identity or location. This applies to all of these documents:

• the petition you file;
• the protection order, restraining order, or injunction that was issued by the court; or
• the registration of an order in a different state.¹

¹ 18 USC § 2265(d)(3)

A restraining order is good anywhere in the United States as long as:

• It was issued to prevent violent or threatening acts, harassing behavior, sexual violence, or it was issued to prevent another person from coming near you or contacting you.¹
• The court that issued the order had jurisdiction over the people and case. (In other words, the court had the authority to hear the case.)
• The abuser received notice of the order and had an opportunity to go to court to tell his/her side of the story.
  • In the case of ex parte temporary and emergency orders, the abuser must receive notice and have an opportunity to go to court to tell his/her side of the story at a hearing that is scheduled before the temporary order expires.²

Note: For information on enforcing a military protective order (MPO) off the military installation, or enforcing a civil protection order (CPO) on a military installation, please see our Military Protective Orders page.

¹ 18 U.S.C. § 2266(5)
² 18 U.S.C. § 2265(a) & (b)

An ex parte temporary order can be enforced in other states as long as it meets the requirements listed in How do I know if my restraining order is good under federal law?¹

Note: The state where you are going generally cannot extend your ex parte temporary order or issue you a permanent order when the temporary one expires. If you need to extend your temporary order, you will have to contact the state that issued the order and arrange to be at the hearing in person or by telephone (if that is an option offered by the court). However, you may be able to reapply for one in the new state that you are moving to if you meet the requirements for getting a protective order in that state – but, if you apply for one in a new state, the abuser would know what state you are living in, which may put you in danger.

¹ 18 U.S.C. § 2265(b)(2)

If you have a valid Connecticut restraining order that meets federal standards, it can be enforced in another state. The Violence Against Women Act, which is a federal law, states that all valid restraining orders granted in the United States receive “full faith and credit” in all state and tribal courts within the US, including US territories. See How do I know if my restraining order is good under federal law? to find out if your restraining order qualifies.

Each state must enforce out-of-state restraining orders in the same way it enforces its own orders. Meaning, if the abuser violates your out-of-state restraining order, s/he will be punished according to the laws of whatever state you are in when the order is violated. This is what is meant by “full faith and credit.”

You do not need a lawyer to get your restraining order enforced in another state.

However, you may want to get help from a local domestic violence advocate or attorney in the state that you move to. A domestic violence advocate can let you know what the advantages and disadvantages are for registering your restraining order, and help you through the process if you decide to do so.

To find a domestic violence advocate or an attorney in the state you are moving to, go to the Places that Help page.

Whether or not you can take your kids out of the state may depend on the exact wording of the custody provision in your restraining order. You may have to first seek the permission of the court before leaving. If the abuser was granted visitation rights with your children, then you may have to have the order changed, or show the court that there is a fair and realistic alternative to the current visitation schedule.

To read more about custody laws in Connecticut, go to our Custody page

If you are unsure about whether or not you can take your kids out of the state, it is important to talk to a domestic violence advocate or lawyer who understands domestic violence and custody laws, and can help you make the safest decision for you and your children. You can find contact information for local domestic violence organizations and legal assistance in Connecticut on our CT Places that Help page.

Under the federal Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), which applies to all U.S. states and territories, the court is not permitted to notify the abuser when a protective order has been registered or filed in a new state unless you specifically request that the abuser be notified.¹  However, you may wish to confirm that the clerk is aware of this law before registering the order if your address is confidential.

However, remember that there may be a possibility that the abuser could somehow find out what state you have moved to.  It is important to continue to safety plan, even if you are no longer in the state where the abuser is living.  We have some safety planning tips to get you started on our Safety Planning page.  You can also contact a local domestic violence organization to get help in developing a personalized safety plan. You will find contact information for organizations in your area on our CT Advocates and Shelters page.

¹ 18 USC § 2265(d)

As long as the child custody provision complies with certain federal laws,¹ Connecticut can enforce a temporary custody order that is a part of a protection order.

To have someone read over your order and tell you if it meets these standards, contact a lawyer in your area. To find a lawyer in your area click here CT Finding a Lawyer.

¹ The federal laws are the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA) or the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), and the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act of 1980.

The Connecticut automated registry of protective orders contains all restraining orders that have been issued by the Connecticut courts, and all foreign orders of protection that have been registered with the Superior Court.

Any judge of the Superior Court or any employee of the Judicial Department who is authorized by the Chief Court Administrator will have access to the information in the registry. It is not open to the public.¹

¹ C.G.S. § 51-5c

Connecticut state law gives full protection to an out-of-state protection order that appears real and true on its face. It does not have to be entered into the state registry in order to be enforced by a Connecticut police officer.¹

¹ C.G.S. § 46b-15a

If you have a protection order in the registry, you can request in writing that your name and address not be given out to anyone, except for the law enforcement agency in the town where you reside, the town where you work, or the town where the abuser lives.

To do this, you must file a Request for nondisclosure of information in protection order registry, form JD-CL-80 at the superior court in your district. This can be done when you are registering your order or after you have registered.

There is no fee for registering your protection order.